His Window
by ProcrastinationPanda
Summary: It's cold and drizzling outside. The cold wind scrapes against my window, as if it was a dog wanting to be let in. The sky is no longer blue; it is a grey that seems to overpower anything it touches. Not even the roses that line this castle is immune to the sky's cruelty. All of this is seen from my window...


It's cold and drizzling outside. The cold wind scrapes against my window, as if it was a dog wanting to be let in. The sky is no longer blue; it is a grey that seems to overpower anything it touches. Not even the roses that line this castle is immune to the sky's cruelty. Footsteps echo in the distance, whispers from students fill the silence. Soon the voices I hear are right behind me. I turn around and face them, my fears. The whispers die slowly. Wide eyes look at me, I close mine in turn. A scoff, and a laugh, then I am left alone. My eyes open to an empty hallway. I turn and look outside my window. Their laugh is heard again, but only in my head. There is no one but her to make them cease. A cheer is heard from the stadium to where I am. Even it seems to jeer at where I am now. I look at the stadium the "game of the century": Slytherin against Gryffindor in the final match of the year. She found more pleasure in such a barbaric thing, than being with me. For a faint second, I can almost see her there. Cheering, laughing, and smiling her iridescent smile towards that him. My heart hurts when it remembers when that once belonged to me. We were just children when the world decided to let me see, love in a human form, her.

Words such as lonely, jealousy, frustration, and sadness were indeed in my vocabulary. However when she stood by my side those words lost their power. Those words shackled me to the ground, with her being the only key. I have no home to go back to, no mother who will love me, no father who will be proud, and no one to share my unseen pain. Living in a house like that it is of no wonder that I grew up knowing that there was a space needed to be filled. She singularly was the only one, who could feel my pain and didn't wish for it to be gone. She never rescued me, because in her eyes she wanted to see me save myself. For me to see the world at its worst then know the beauty that lies in the everyday. Like a good story my time with her started to near its last chapter. When the world deemed me too undeserving to have her stay. With a few sentences, the world we once made a home tore into separate houses. Her house was adorned with a lion that ruled over all that it saw. Mine a snake, who forever is condemned to a life of a villain. However every villain is plagued with a hero.

That hero decided to rescue the princess from my dungeon. The cruel games he played on me, as she looked into my face and did nothing. I have never known hate so close before. It seems that I am the jester in fate's cruel court. Perhaps I am a puppet for her to pull on. All of this I bore with a heavy heart only lightened by the fact that she was near. Gladly I would have taken this treatment for an eternity so I may be seen in her eyes. This simple wish was ignored and tossed aside like one would do a spider. As the pain continued, she chose to not look anymore. On this dreary day, she chose to give me hope through a ticket to the game. She knew full well that I was not able to afford a luxury as that. A foolish me accepted the ticket, now a much wiser me decides to not go. Hope sings softly into my ear of a possibility for her and I to be together. Fear kisses my cheek as I crumple the ticket. Hope sings again. This time a foolish me decides to listen. I fly down the stairs and ran towards the stadium. She would choose me, this I prayed as I ran.

My robes became torn by the melancholic roses. The rain is rebuffed from my head by the oil in my hair. It didn't matter to me, and I knew that it wouldn't matter to her. Before she didn't care, should would not now. I arrived at the stadium. The guards looked at me, one of them snickered.

"Ticket?"

I found the ticket you gave me before you left. I showed it to the guard who was in utter disbelief that I was capable of owning such a thing. After doing some scans to make sure it was genuine he and his friends let me in. I went to the very top and tried to find her in the crowd. She came running towards me. A smile and warmth radiated from her that seemed to make all the pain worthwhile.

"I'm so happy you could make it!" she said. A tear seemed to have escaped. I hugged her tightly, never to let go. My crooked nose nestled her red hair. If the world was in ruins I would not have noticed. Tears slide off my face and reunite with the water on her head. Should I die now, I would not have cared. She was here and that is all that mattered.

"Getting a little sentimental are we Snivellious? Why don't you slither back to that dungeon you call a dorm?" My world crashed. I look up to see her hero looking back at me. He is far more handsome that of which I could ever be.

"Hey Snivellious let go of Lily before your ugly rubs off on her, " said a tall Sirius. A great shove was issued. I let go before she fall into the puddle with me.

"Sirius don't be such an idiot. Lily cannot ever become undesirable. I cannot say the same for some." said Remus directly at me. James brings Lily into an embrace that once belonged to me.

"You guys! Stop it! I'm glad he's here!" said Lily as she let go and stood in front of me.

"Oooh! James! Your girlfriend is fallin' for another man!" said Sirius as he hit James playfully. A scowl came upon his face. In an instant he pulled out his wand.

"You, Snivellious, get the bloody hell away from her this instant!" he said as he jammed his wand at my nose.

"Stop it, James!" said Lily as she slapped the wand away from me.

"Don't you know? That he is-."

"Potter! Don't say things that are unnecessary!" I shouted, apparently I was loud and a few heads turned to face me. They were all adorned in crimson and gold.

"You didn't tell her?" James pointed his wand at his neck, and said the charm that would magnify his voice. "Lily, this guy over here is a death eater!" he shouted. Everyone stopped looking at the game and started looking at me. Words were shot at me.

"Dude! That guy is a death eater!"

"Why is he with her?"

"Doesn't he have any shame?"

"Let's teach him a lesson!"

"Go home you death eater!"

"You don't belong here!"

"Get him away from her!"

"He's going to hurt her!"

"That bastard!"

Lily looked at me, hurt filled her eyes. Yet, the pain in her eyes didn't match my regret. I tried so hard for her to not find out, yet. She stepped away from me, suddenly I realized the difference. Our world was gone, along with the Lily that had lived there. Lily looked at me. Then she looked at James, she slapped him as hard as she could.

"Don't you dare spread such lies about him! I don't care who you are! Don't you dare hurt him!" she cried. The rain continued and thunder was heard in the distance. No one seemed to care about the game now.

"Lies? You think these are lies? Sirius, Remus let's show her the truth," said James as he motioned to his friends. They both grabbed my arms. James walked over to Lily and put his hand on her hand. He led her hand to my sleeve. Using her hand he pulled up to reveal my mistake that laid on my arm forever. She tried rubbing it off. But it didn't come off, no this regret would haunt me forever.

"No!" she cried. James motioned his bastards to let me go. He then comforted the crying Lily. I couldn't say anything in my defense. There was nothing that could change her mind. "Just go!" Like a machine I followed her command. I pushed myself through the people. I shielded myself from the food and parcels that were thrown at me. The guard and his friend tripped me back into the mud. With the wind as my only companion I ran back to the castle. Back to my window, where I once dreamed. That slim glass shield became my only friend that day.

-Years later-

I see the boy Potter looking out of my window. He was quiet, unlike his father. With a step I see they boy who stole her eyes look back at me. He turned and looked at me.

"Excuse me sir, but did you ever look through this window?" he asked me. It seems that idiocy was passed from father to son.

"I am not obliged to tell you anything about my personal life. Five points from Gryffindor," was my reply. He needed to leave.

"Sorry, sir, but I can't help but feel that you would-."

"Are you trying to relate to me? Ten points from Gryffindor might help you come to the realization that we are not equals."

"It's just a question! Why can't you just answer it?"

"This is my answer! Fifteen points from Gryffindor!"

"Just answer my question and I'll leave!"

"You can tell all of your little friends how you single handedly, in less than five minutes, destroyed their chance of winning the house cup. This is my last warning Potter."

"Sir! Please I need to know! There is a note here, to S.S from L.E!"

My heart seemingly started to pump warmth through my body.

"Give it to me and leave!"

"Did you! If you don't tell me I am going to destroy this note!"He lifted his hand to show the piece of parchment and his wand.

"Your simple mind cannot comprehend how many times I have looked out of this window. Now will you please hand me the note?" He stood up and handed me the note. Her eyes looked back at me, and then he left. Taking her eyes with him. I held the note in my hand. I looked at the note and opened it.

"Dear Sev, I've noticed that you seem to look out this window quite often, what is on your mind? We need to talk. I want to hear your side of the story about becoming a Death Eater. Let's talk by the lake this Friday. James and the others have plans. We won't be disturbed. Please come, I still want to believe in you. Lots of love always, Lily."

I heard a footstep. It was Potter. Clearly he did not get his mother's brains.

"I can hear your footsteps."

"Sorry."

"Tell me how you were able to possess this note?"

"Well I was looking out then I realized that there was a piece of paper underneath a shingle. So I opened the window and got it."

"Which shingle?"

The boy pointed vaguely to an area of shingles that were fairly close to the window. There is no use regretting not looking there. It would not help me now. She was gone,

"Professor, can you please tell me what the note said? Those initials belonged to my mother before she married my father." The boy Potter just had to ignore the mood.

"Idiot boy, I know. Now go."

"Yes professor."

"A hundred and fifty points to Gryffindor."

"What did I do?"

"They aren't for you, idiot boy."

"Fine, whatever good night." With that he left, leaving me alone with my window and the note. I looked at the note again before speaking words that I only wanted her to hear.

"They are for your mother..."

The End


End file.
